Apologizing, Explaining Yourself, and Accepting an Apology in Spanish

Apologizing, Explaining Yourself, and Accepting an Apology in Spanish

In this lesson, you will build an apology that names the action, recognizes its effect, gives an explanation without erasing responsibility, and offers a reasonable repair when one is needed. You will also accept an apology or explain that a problem still remains.

Simple apology

• Lo siento. — I am sorry.
• Perdona. — Sorry / Forgive me. Informal singular.
• Perdone. — Sorry / Forgive me. Formal singular.
• Disculpa. — Excuse me / Sorry. Informal singular.

Name the action

More useful than only saying Lo siento:

Lo siento por llegar tarde. — I am sorry for arriving late.

Another:

Perdona por no avisarte antes. — Sorry for not letting you know earlier.

Recognize the effect

Lo siento por cancelar tan tarde. Entiendo que hayas cambiado tus planes. — I am sorry for canceling so late. I understand that you changed your plans.

The apology recognizes that the other person's plans were affected.

Explain what happened

Explanation:

El tren se retrasó una hora y no tenía conexión en el teléfono. — The train was delayed for one hour and I did not have a phone connection.

This can explain the situation without claiming that the other person should not be upset.

Explanation versus excuse that erases responsibility

Better:

No pude avisarte a tiempo, pero debería haberte escrito en cuanto tuve conexión. — I could not let you know in time, but I should have written to you as soon as I had a connection.

The sentence accepts that something could have been handled better.

The form debería haberte escrito is a common retrospective expression here. A fuller conditional-perfect system is taught later.

Offer a repair

• Puedo devolverte el dinero hoy. — I can return the money to you today.
• Si te parece bien, podemos cambiar la reunión al jueves. — If that works for you, we can move the meeting to Thursday.
• Voy a corregir el documento y enviártelo esta tarde. — I am going to correct the document and send it to you this afternoon.

Do not over-apologize for a small matter

Small delay:

Perdona por los cinco minutos de retraso. — Sorry for being five minutes late.

A very long dramatic apology would be disproportionate in many ordinary contexts.

Accept an apology

• No pasa nada. — It's okay / No problem.
• Está bien, gracias por explicarlo. — It's okay, thank you for explaining it.
• Gracias por decírmelo. — Thank you for telling me.

Accept the apology but keep the issue open

Entiendo lo que pasó y agradezco la disculpa, pero todavía tenemos que resolver el problema. — I understand what happened and appreciate the apology, but we still have to solve the problem.

Accepting an apology does not require pretending that the practical consequence has disappeared.

Say that you are still upset without attacking the person

Agradezco que te hayas disculpado, pero me molestó que no me avisaras. — I appreciate that you apologized, but it bothered me that you did not let me know.

This focuses on the behavior.

Complete apology

Person A: Lo siento por no venir ayer. Tuve un problema familiar y no pude avisarte a tiempo. Entiendo que te haya molestado. Debería haberte escrito antes. Si todavía quieres, podemos vernos mañana. — I am sorry for not coming yesterday. I had a family problem and could not let you know in time. I understand that it bothered you. I should have written earlier. If you still want to, we can meet tomorrow.

Person B: Gracias por explicarlo. Entiendo la situación. Mañana me va bien. — Thank you for explaining it. I understand the situation. Tomorrow works for me.

A practical apology method

1. Choose an apology appropriate to the seriousness and relationship.
2. Name the action or omission.
3. Recognize its effect on the other person when relevant.
4. Explain what happened without using the explanation to erase responsibility.
5. Offer a realistic repair if something still needs to be fixed.
6. Accept an apology clearly, or state respectfully that a practical issue remains.

From Apologies to Recognizing Emotional Reactions

You can now apologize, explain yourself, and respond when someone apologizes. The next lesson trains you to recognize surprise, disappointment, and sympathy from both words and the surrounding conversation.